One of the things I like to do is impart scripture into his little heart so he learns to be governed from the inside out. So, here are a few things I do. In the midst of him having one of those tantrums, I get down at his level and with the most gentle, yet firm, tone, I say, "Benjamin, you have an excellent sprit (Daniel 6:3). You are an obedient boy, and you obey Mommy." (Ephesians 6:1) Nine times out of ten, he puts his head on my shoulder and calms down. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath." It is so true! The word of God is alive and active! (Hebrews 4:12) When imparted into others it will bring forth good fruit. For those of you wondering what Benjamin does that 10% percent of the time, he simply looks at me straight in the eyes and yells NO! LOL!! Have you heard that word before from your two-year old? At this point, I either continue with my gentle tone and pick him up and love on him so he knows he is completely loved and safe, and say, "Obey! You walk in obedience Benjamin." OR, there are other times that he is not budging and simply needs a break from the rest of the world and gets put down for a nap or time alone in his crib. The bottom line is to always maintain control and to catch the problem earlier rather than later so that as the parent, you stay in control of your emotions.
I think one of the mistakes we moms make is that we try to change our children from the outside in. We try to control their behavior so they don't embarrass us. I was there, and sometimes fall in that trap of parenthood. As I get older, I tend to care less (I say that in the most respectful way) what others think and care more about training my children's heart. So, instead of taking him to the bathroom at the grocery store to spank him for embarrassing me (I think we do this more than we realize), I take him to the bathroom to see why his heart is so upset. Then I speak to it. Usually he has felt threatened by a sibling or not heard or simply did not get what he wanted. Whatever the reason, make sure you have your heart in check and focus on your relationship with your child rather than what man might be thinking about your parenting skills. Your child's heart is the one thing you want to train, and the earlier you start the better it will go, down the road. The goal? To fill that little heart with the Word of God so they can pull from it as they grow up.
Here is a great place to start Scriptures from Proverbs to impart scripture into your children. Also, I HIGHLY recommend a few books. They are Sheperding a Child's Heart, Grooming the Next Generation for Success, Loving our Kids on Purpose. These are great foundational books that will transform the parent's heart so they can mold their child's heart! Check them out in the "Our Favorites" section of my website, along with the many others on there.